In general, it is an attitude that is frowned upon by others One of the things that bothers people the most is when someone is always late. Arriving everywhere and seeing that someone is always late makes others irritated, as they believe they are not being taken into consideration. This hides a variety of traits in a person, from lack of decorum to apathy, through to external factors, although there may be a variety of reasons that are worth considering.
According to professional Neel Burton, in an article in Psychology Today, he reveals that being late is not always a bad thing. “Sometimes it is your unconscious (intuition) that tells you that you don’t want to be there, or that it would be better for you not to be there; for example, it may be that a meeting (or even a job) is not the best use of your time or inevitably goes against your own interests. Keep in mind that headaches can serve a similar function; they certainly do for me.” However, in general, it is an action that is frowned upon by others, especially when it is repetitive and always happens with the same person, who is late to everything.
What it means for a person to always be late
The Nueva Esperanza Clinic explores the topic of unpunctuality in depth. They point out that failing to arrive on time for an appointment is something that can happen to anyone, but when it becomes a constant, the circumstances tend to be part of a multitude of elements that obey the psychological characteristics of a particular person.
Poor time management
One of the main characteristics of a person who is always late is excessive optimism. According to a study by the University of San Diego, these people tend to underestimate the time needed to complete tasks, which is known as the “planning fallacy”. ‘They convince themselves that they can complete several activities in a short period of time, which leads them to rush until it becomes impossible to fulfil what was planned,’ say the experts. It is not that they do not value commitment or respect for others, but their assessment of time is systematically wrong.
According to each culture
According to the European Institute for International Studies (IEEI), this permissiveness can condition individual expectations and cause certain people to naturalise tardiness. What in Nordic or Anglo-Saxon countries would be considered a serious offence, in other contexts is interpreted as acceptable or even friendly behaviour.
In turn, Joseph Ferrari, PhD in psychology from De Paul University in the United States, explains that ‘when there is more abundance of things, there is more likely to be disorder. The more disorder there is, the more often it is a chronic procrastinator.’ The tendency to postpone activities, even those related to getting ready to go out, can be a manifestation of procrastination. This may be related to perfectionism, fear of failure or avoidance and, unfortunately, is an increasingly common practice.
When circumstances are external
Factors such as traffic, unforeseen problems or transport issues may also be to blame, although they do not always explain consistent behaviour. But if this happens all the time and a person is always late, the problem is no longer external, but their own. In other cases, the American Psychological Association (APA) warns that this characteristic may be part of disorders such as ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder), where difficulty in organising tasks and measuring time is central. In such cases, lack of punctuality should not be judged morally, but approached from a clinical and empathetic perspective.
According to Webpsicólogos, ADHD often presents with working memory deficits. This can lead to difficulties in planning actions, organising activities, scheduling time, and staying on track. These deficits can cause problems with arriving on time.
Tips for being punctual
In Psicología y Mente, it is emphasised that this problem can be changed. They offer an overview of the problem and its possible solutions, but if many problems arise and these significantly impair quality of life, it is advisable to seek direct professional help to offer personalised treatment. Some people set alarms to arrive on time, write down travel times, or set their clocks back to schedule meetings a little earlier. On the other hand, Figconsulting advises that it is important to plan ahead if you know you are often late. Therefore, it is recommended to plan to arrive 10 minutes early, rather than on time: if you plan to arrive on time, you will probably be late, so try to arrive early.
Put yourself in the other person’s shoes
You must have empathy and realise how much time you are wasting for the other person you have arranged to meet. That is when you will see that it makes no sense for them to always wait for you.
